Coping with Anxiety in the Workplace

In relation to problems you may experience in your career, coping with anxiety can frequently come up. 

It is very difficult to cope with anxiety: worry about the future is characterised by feeling undefined, overwhelming and out of our control. 

I would suggest that the best strategy to pull anxiety back is to turn those characteristics around:

·       by defining it

·       by putting it in perspective

·       by clarifying what elements of your stress are within your control.

This post focuses on the elements of your stress within the workplace that are within your control. A job change may not necessarily solve this problem for you.  It can help to stop and think more closely about what you are experiencing in the now.  You are learning how to cope with stress.

What are the Problems Within the Workplace

The first step is to make sure you are very clear on where the problems lie.  Identify the sources of stress and whether you can develop a response to them.  For example, it may be that you are unclear about who you report to and what is expected of you.  Perhaps nobody is developing your skills. Or there may be elements of your work that you find especially challenging, and these may flood your thoughts but actually represent only a small portion of your work.  Perhaps stress is a pattern that has followed you from job to job, indicating that the core changes you want to make are in how you respond to work stress in general.  Perfectionism can also be a source of stress and may require a response where you adjust your personal expectations or your kindness to yourself when you experience a setback.  It’s important to be clear on what you are experiencing before you can decide how best to respond.

If you are trying to articulate what is wrong, this graphic may be helpful. These are ingredients for happiness and well-being. Where work is meeting none or few of these needs, it can be considered a source of stress.

Ingredients for Happiness and Well-Being. Source: Dr. Patricia Daly, University of Limerick, 2019

Are any External Factors Impacting on your Performance and Happiness

If one aspect of life is causing you distress and it begins to impact on other parts of your life, it inhibits your ability to act purposefully and protect yourself from burnout.  It may be helpful to mention to someone at work (that you trust) that you are experiencing difficulties outside work.  Each company culture is different, and someone who understands your work context could be a helpful ally in figuring out what would be the next step in order to cope with work tasks alongside this external stress. You may need nothing more formal than an occasional check-in by your colleague, or you may decide that it would relieve your stress to be open about difficulties you are experiencing outside work to a manager or to HR.  Generally it is best to try to put strategies in place that can keep home stress and work stress separate.

Relaxation is a Skill

If we can turn on relaxation, then we can turn off tension.  Regulation of anxiety through relaxation is a skill that can be learned through practice.  While implementing change, take time for yourself and self-care strategies that meet your needs, such as alone time, exercise you enjoy, phone-free evenings, early nights or meaningful connections with others.  Develop skills that you enjoy outside of work. Consider mindful practices that keep you in the moment, such as writing in a daily journal or sitting quietly while drinking a hot drink.  When you are working, pace yourself and plan breaks (or rewards) after periods of intense work.

Keep the Consultation Going

Not knowing when or how to say ‘help’ can lead to escalating anxiety.  If you do not have clear communication with your boss and this causes you stress, try to establish a regular slot or structure to communicate better.  Explore whether you can prioritise some tasks while delegating or postponing others.  There may be skills or training that would interest you and increase your enjoyment of work. Generally a communication breakdown is bridged when people have a better understanding of each other’s needs and experiences.  Make sure your employer understands your needs and keep the consultation going by communicating with your employer and colleagues on a regular basis.

Who Can You Talk To

A friendly chat with someone you trust is a vital support to stress in the workplace. Reach out to someone who knows you well and who can provide an external point of view.  This may be a family member, a friend, a colleague or a person you studied alongside.  Consider the value of a professional support service such as a counsellor, who can help you towards insight, self-acceptance and who can support you if you decide to no longer engage in behaviours that create stress for you in the workplace.  Sometimes, validation from someone who cares about us is all we need to cope.

Don’t Overdo It

When  managing anxiety in the workplace, small changes can make a big difference.  Small changes, implemented thoughtfully, can change your life.  Once you have a clear idea of what is causing you stress, try setting a reasonable response to it.    In the long run, little and often may the best strategy to change.

Self-Care: Simple Tools that Can Work

I’d like to talk about self-care.  It’s important because if we look after how we physically and emotionally feel, our cognition will also function better and we will be able to think more clearly and make more reasoned decisions.    Self-care is in many ways the core of all good decision making. 

I am going to write today about a number of tools that I have found effective in diagnosing stresses and improving our relationship with ourselves.

Voice the Difficulties

The first step to change is to name the difficulties.  If you write out a typical day hour by hour, you can note where your stress triggers are.  Do they happen during the working day, during the transition from work to home life, during idle hours when dissatisfaction seeps in?

Manage the Manageables

Then draw a large container image. You can see the container as a membrane between yourself and the world. 

I draw three sides of a rectangle that’s open at the top.  Everything you write inside the jar are things you can control.  Everything that is stressing you but that is outside your control goes in the white space outside the jar.

The Container helps you to visualise the membrane between you and circumstances beyond your control

The container helps you to appreciate that there are limits to what is within your control and to visualise what life would be like if you focused your energies on managing the manageables.

The Incredible 5 Point Scale

The Incredible 5 Point Scale is actually a sensory tool developed to help children to emotionally regulate by becoming more aware of the stages and levels of their emotions.  However like many sensory tools, it works well for almost everyone.

To develop your own self-care scale, draw a table.  4 columns, 5 rows :

Example of an Incredible 5 Point Scale Table. Make your own!

And start to fill it in, relating your emotional state of mind to what you do when you are unaware and what you could do instead to move yourself down through the scale to a calmer state.

Reflect on What’s Changed

When developing new coping strategies for yourself, reflect on what you have learned about yourself that you didn’t always know.   Many of us have experienced transformative change during the pandemic and drawn on resources we didn’t know we had.  What’s changed for you?  What new information have you learned about yourself?  Did you discover new coping strategies or new joys in your life?

Make a list for yourself that you can draw on: Things that help you cope.  Be as specific as you can be. Is there a certain TV show, a certain moment in the day or a view you really enjoy? Name it!

Early Warning Signs

What are the warning signs for you when the self-care is slipping?   Are they likely to trigger you into feeling worse?  Make a note of them so that you can recognise when they’re happening. These may be the things that will move you up the 5 Point Scale instead of down

Maintain your Supports

Now that you have named what works for you , keep it in your mind by writing your list of coping strategies somewhere you will find it, like at the back of a work diary.

I like to write it in a gentle way.

I Can Try:

• Keeping a little structure on the week; Getting exercise; Only scheduling two things a day; Sitting in my garden; Drinking water with ice; Making time for play.

Start changing your life by changing your self-care and see if it helps you to identify your stress triggers and make clearer decisions.

How a Guidance Counsellor can help with Career Burnout

‘Stress is a reality – like love or electricity – unmistakeable in experience yet difficult to define.’[i]

Career Burnout is a form of stress.  It is a gradual building up of work-related stress to the point where it is having chronically negative impacts on your life.   

The Lobster Pot

Burnout is hard to recognise because what can often start as high job satisfaction becomes over time a waning optimism and eventually chronic stress.  You can’t quite figure out what’s wrong but something is wrong.  It’s the lobster pot metaphor: it heats up gradually and you can’t quite tell whether the problem is with you (the person) or with the pot (the context).

Burnout is depicted as having three strands: if you are feeling exhausted in your work, cynical about your work (and losing your sense of identity with it) and feeling reduced in your ability to do your work, you are exhibiting warning signs of burnout.

Fuzzy Thinking

The trouble is that stress can lead to fuzzy thinking which makes it hard to define and even harder to imagine that the solutions available to you will help.  You are being asked to think clearly at a very moment where you are feeling unable to do so.  It is difficult to live through something and make sense of it at the same time.

Here are the ways that I think a Guidance Counsellor can help:

1.       Making Sense of What is Happening to You

Life is made up of everyday individual actions and interactions.   Guidance counsellors are trained to help you bridge the divide between who you are and the world in which you exist.  By making sense of what is happening to you, your understanding increases.  By making meaning from your experiences,  you become able to separate what you need to respond to and what is outside of your control.

Life experiences can feel like fact but the very act of talking them through with someone else can change them.  This act can help you to reframe your understanding of yourself and think more clearly how the world in which you exist is impacting on you. 

2.       Adding in Objective Information

Sometimes an objective assessment such as a Career Assessment provides useful information to add to the context of your experiences. Tools such as an Interest Profile, a Personality Quiz or an assessment of your Career Values can help you make sense of your career issues and why your current context is no longer working for you.  You can also reconnect with forgotten career aspirations and begin to consider whether your current work is still meeting your needs.

Whether you need a big change such as a change of career, or a small change such as a change in your hours, your responsibilities or your communication with direct management, assessment helps you to gain awareness of your skills and how you can use them to change your context and ultimately help you to cope. 

3.       It’s not You, it’s Them

Many coping strategies for stress and burnout focus on developing personal resilience.  These elements, while helpful, don’t suit every person and every situation.  There needs to be a recognition that sometimes people are being asked to deliver beyond what would be considered reasonable. 

Example of an approach that focuses only on personal resilience. Source: hellodriven.com

This HBR article quotes a survey by Gallup that found the top five reasons for burnout are:

1. Unfair treatment at work

2. Unmanageable workload

3. Lack of role clarity

4. Lack of communication and support from their manager

5. Unreasonable time pressure

While a focus on personal resilience is a valuable tool, workplace practices and expectations feed into personal burnout and a person’s context needs to be addressed if they are to break the cycle.  Burnout is a system problem and most likely things at work will need to change.

Knowing Yourself Better Helps You Plan For Change

The process of guidance counselling can help you to bring yourself to an a-ha moment of what kind of change you are looking for.  Clarity – the very opposite of fuzzy thinking – is a major component in planning for change.  By taking a step back, you begin to explore options which you have not been considering because you have been feeling overwhelmed from your current work context. 

Sometimes a dilemma enhances our freedom to choose.  The process of guidance counselling can give you a new vocabulary for breaking down your old coping routines and building new ways of developing your career.

i Eugene Kennedy and Sara Charles. On Becoming a Counsellor. Gill & McMillan 1977

Jobseeking: Connect first with yourself, then others

Here’s how I became a Career Counsellor:  I went to see one for advice.  I wasn’t making inroads in my career of choice.  I was sitting opposite the Career Counsellor when I had the realisation: I really want your job.  I sought her advice then and there: how do I do what you do? 

She was interested by my interest in her.  A week later, she rang me.  She’d been contacted by a university promoting distance learning studies in Career Development.  Would I be interested in learning more?  I said yes.

 Two years later and I contacted an Employment Service for advice.  I asked the Manager if she would meet with me and she said yes.  She gave me an hour of her time, even arranged for me to work shadow one of her team for a morning.   I didn’t ask for a job, instead I asked: how do I prepare for working somewhere like this?  

 A few days later, she contacted me that she had heard of a vacancy in a sister service.  I applied and interviewed and I got it: my dream job.

We are all Self Employed

In many ways, employment is temporary.  It is your career that you are in control of.  You are the decision maker.  And the way to take control is to know that you are working for yourself now.  Let people know what you need and give them a chance to respond to it.  Expand your knowledge base by asking for advice.

 Develop your interests to form a new network with a wider reach than the one you have now.  What is the worst that can happen?

Job Seeking Skills are actually Self-Marketing Skills

Self-Marketing means you focus on your employability, not on being employed.  You want to create and sustain your own opportunities in work, learning and life. 

In these COVID times, reaching out can be gentle.  You can sign up for something and quietly attend.  You can make connections in a way that is comfortable for you.

• Keep a structure to your day:  Get up at the same time.  Make space in the day for making connections and give one hour to it every day.  

• Spark your interests: Make a cup of tea and watch a TED talk.   Listen to a podcast.  Sign up for a free webinar from the library.  Enjoy taking the time to know yourself.  Pay attention to what interests you. 

• Control your filter:  fill your social media feed with new content by following employers, magazines or professionals who write about your industry. Follow one and then from their feed pick two more to follow.  Unfollow or hide content you no longer enjoy.

• Know what you’re looking for: write down three knowledge gaps.  Tell yourself: I’m going to do one thing this week that moves me closer to filling one gap.  I’m going to persevere and practice.

• Fill your knowledge gaps: take a new course (I link to free ones below), learn new skills, sign up for a conference, attend a webinar on anything you find interesting.  Use your new sources to generate ideas.  What are other people listening to?

• Make connections: set up a Linked In page and invite people to connect with you on Linked In – say hi on a Zoom chat at a webinar and see what happens!    Look for new opportunities to learn and practice filling those gaps, one step at a time. 

 Don’t keep your jobseeking a secret

 Don’t be scared of networking. What’s now called networking is how Irish people have operated for millennia.  We love a good recommendation from someone we trust before we do anything. People often turn to a family friend or a neighbour to get a leg up.

 So if you have ever posted in a Facebook or WhatsApp group looking for a recommendation or if you have ever replied to one, then you have networked.  It is no more mysterious than that.

 Let someone in your network know you are actively seeking a job. Think about all the people you have worked with or who know you well.  Choose someone who is positioned well to introduce you to others and who is likely to be happy and interested to hear from you.

Be clear about what you want. If it is someone you know, you can let them know you are actively seeking new work and that you are looking for some advice about where there are vacancies or how you would prepare to work somewhere like their work.

Connect with those who are connected with others

Then list potential prospects: list organisations that do what you want to do, and who you could contact there.  Are you more comfortable starting with someone you know or a stranger?  Make it a planned and targeted networking campaign.  

 If it is someone you don’t know, don’t ask for a job.  Ask them for advice.   Ask them for a half hour of their time.  And try to leave that meeting with one more recommendation of someone you could talk to. 

I contacted lots of people at the time I contacted the Employment Service but I only needed one to be the right opportunity.

Make a connection.  First with yourself, then with others.

Ecollege: Free online courses for everyone

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Why Adults need Career Guidance Too

It’s funny how an idea has taken hold in society that career guidance happens in school and that once you are an adult, you are on your own.

This is so strange when you think about it. The idea that at 18, before you have ever taken a step into the labour market, you have finished receiving career guidance. You were expected to come up with an answer then, and if you didn’t you missed your chance.

If you were lucky enough to go to college, you may have received some career guidance there. Or perhaps you were aware of a college career guidance service which may have reminded you that questions like ‘what do I want?’ were important ones to ask yourself. If you saw a college guidance counsellor, the chances are that you saw them once.

Now as an adult, you’re wondering about career guidance. Is it something you should have sorted when you are young. You’re wondering if it is OK to be thinking about going for career guidance now?

But times have changed. We are getting more used to the idea of asking for help. We are getting more used to the idea that it’s OK to not feel OK.

Understanding is everything

Career guidance is the act of admitting that everything is not OK in your career. There is a feeling of unhappiness or a lack of purpose permeating your everyday experiences.

When you come to see me, it means you have a career-related problem that you can’t seem to solve on your own.

You have decided to make time and space in your life to sit down with a person who is listening to you, who is fully present for you. Someone who is ready to hear your problem and how it is impacting on you, and how that impact is happening in a negative and harmful way, and preventing you from living the life you want.

As a career counsellor, I can’t take responsibility for your problem or promise you that we can fix it. What I can promise you is that I will hold a mirror up to you and help you to find the belief that you can fix this for yourself.

My hope is that you will feel clarity; after our sessions, you will feel clear about what you want and how you are going to get there.

You can build the life you want

The key word here is ‘build’. Building requires a little bit of work and patience and self-awareness. You cannot build until you know what you want.

Our sessions follow a simple format.

We will work through key questions during our sessions.

• What is going on for you?

• What do you want?

• What is it within your control to change?

• Are the things you are doing now bringing you closer to (or further from) what you want?

• What can you do differently to get what you want?

• How are you going to do it?

• How are you going to know it when you get there?

Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference

Change happens slowly. It is not easy to change. It is not easy to look at an old problem alone and come up with new solutions. I am here for you.

You can do it. You can make time for you. One session at a time.