Self-Care: Simple Tools that Can Work

I’d like to talk about self-care.  It’s important because if we look after how we physically and emotionally feel, our cognition will also function better and we will be able to think more clearly and make more reasoned decisions.    Self-care is in many ways the core of all good decision making. 

I am going to write today about a number of tools that I have found effective in diagnosing stresses and improving our relationship with ourselves.

Voice the Difficulties

The first step to change is to name the difficulties.  If you write out a typical day hour by hour, you can note where your stress triggers are.  Do they happen during the working day, during the transition from work to home life, during idle hours when dissatisfaction seeps in?

Manage the Manageables

Then draw a large container image. You can see the container as a membrane between yourself and the world. 

I draw three sides of a rectangle that’s open at the top.  Everything you write inside the jar are things you can control.  Everything that is stressing you but that is outside your control goes in the white space outside the jar.

The Container helps you to visualise the membrane between you and circumstances beyond your control

The container helps you to appreciate that there are limits to what is within your control and to visualise what life would be like if you focused your energies on managing the manageables.

The Incredible 5 Point Scale

The Incredible 5 Point Scale is actually a sensory tool developed to help children to emotionally regulate by becoming more aware of the stages and levels of their emotions.  However like many sensory tools, it works well for almost everyone.

To develop your own self-care scale, draw a table.  4 columns, 5 rows :

Example of an Incredible 5 Point Scale Table. Make your own!

And start to fill it in, relating your emotional state of mind to what you do when you are unaware and what you could do instead to move yourself down through the scale to a calmer state.

Reflect on What’s Changed

When developing new coping strategies for yourself, reflect on what you have learned about yourself that you didn’t always know.   Many of us have experienced transformative change during the pandemic and drawn on resources we didn’t know we had.  What’s changed for you?  What new information have you learned about yourself?  Did you discover new coping strategies or new joys in your life?

Make a list for yourself that you can draw on: Things that help you cope.  Be as specific as you can be. Is there a certain TV show, a certain moment in the day or a view you really enjoy? Name it!

Early Warning Signs

What are the warning signs for you when the self-care is slipping?   Are they likely to trigger you into feeling worse?  Make a note of them so that you can recognise when they’re happening. These may be the things that will move you up the 5 Point Scale instead of down

Maintain your Supports

Now that you have named what works for you , keep it in your mind by writing your list of coping strategies somewhere you will find it, like at the back of a work diary.

I like to write it in a gentle way.

I Can Try:

• Keeping a little structure on the week; Getting exercise; Only scheduling two things a day; Sitting in my garden; Drinking water with ice; Making time for play.

Start changing your life by changing your self-care and see if it helps you to identify your stress triggers and make clearer decisions.