Coping with Anxiety in the Workplace

In relation to problems you may experience in your career, coping with anxiety can frequently come up. 

It is very difficult to cope with anxiety: worry about the future is characterised by feeling undefined, overwhelming and out of our control. 

I would suggest that the best strategy to pull anxiety back is to turn those characteristics around:

·       by defining it

·       by putting it in perspective

·       by clarifying what elements of your stress are within your control.

This post focuses on the elements of your stress within the workplace that are within your control. A job change may not necessarily solve this problem for you.  It can help to stop and think more closely about what you are experiencing in the now.  You are learning how to cope with stress.

What are the Problems Within the Workplace

The first step is to make sure you are very clear on where the problems lie.  Identify the sources of stress and whether you can develop a response to them.  For example, it may be that you are unclear about who you report to and what is expected of you.  Perhaps nobody is developing your skills. Or there may be elements of your work that you find especially challenging, and these may flood your thoughts but actually represent only a small portion of your work.  Perhaps stress is a pattern that has followed you from job to job, indicating that the core changes you want to make are in how you respond to work stress in general.  Perfectionism can also be a source of stress and may require a response where you adjust your personal expectations or your kindness to yourself when you experience a setback.  It’s important to be clear on what you are experiencing before you can decide how best to respond.

If you are trying to articulate what is wrong, this graphic may be helpful. These are ingredients for happiness and well-being. Where work is meeting none or few of these needs, it can be considered a source of stress.

Ingredients for Happiness and Well-Being. Source: Dr. Patricia Daly, University of Limerick, 2019

Are any External Factors Impacting on your Performance and Happiness

If one aspect of life is causing you distress and it begins to impact on other parts of your life, it inhibits your ability to act purposefully and protect yourself from burnout.  It may be helpful to mention to someone at work (that you trust) that you are experiencing difficulties outside work.  Each company culture is different, and someone who understands your work context could be a helpful ally in figuring out what would be the next step in order to cope with work tasks alongside this external stress. You may need nothing more formal than an occasional check-in by your colleague, or you may decide that it would relieve your stress to be open about difficulties you are experiencing outside work to a manager or to HR.  Generally it is best to try to put strategies in place that can keep home stress and work stress separate.

Relaxation is a Skill

If we can turn on relaxation, then we can turn off tension.  Regulation of anxiety through relaxation is a skill that can be learned through practice.  While implementing change, take time for yourself and self-care strategies that meet your needs, such as alone time, exercise you enjoy, phone-free evenings, early nights or meaningful connections with others.  Develop skills that you enjoy outside of work. Consider mindful practices that keep you in the moment, such as writing in a daily journal or sitting quietly while drinking a hot drink.  When you are working, pace yourself and plan breaks (or rewards) after periods of intense work.

Keep the Consultation Going

Not knowing when or how to say ‘help’ can lead to escalating anxiety.  If you do not have clear communication with your boss and this causes you stress, try to establish a regular slot or structure to communicate better.  Explore whether you can prioritise some tasks while delegating or postponing others.  There may be skills or training that would interest you and increase your enjoyment of work. Generally a communication breakdown is bridged when people have a better understanding of each other’s needs and experiences.  Make sure your employer understands your needs and keep the consultation going by communicating with your employer and colleagues on a regular basis.

Who Can You Talk To

A friendly chat with someone you trust is a vital support to stress in the workplace. Reach out to someone who knows you well and who can provide an external point of view.  This may be a family member, a friend, a colleague or a person you studied alongside.  Consider the value of a professional support service such as a counsellor, who can help you towards insight, self-acceptance and who can support you if you decide to no longer engage in behaviours that create stress for you in the workplace.  Sometimes, validation from someone who cares about us is all we need to cope.

Don’t Overdo It

When  managing anxiety in the workplace, small changes can make a big difference.  Small changes, implemented thoughtfully, can change your life.  Once you have a clear idea of what is causing you stress, try setting a reasonable response to it.    In the long run, little and often may the best strategy to change.

How to Change your Career

The feeling of being trapped in a job you don’t want to do is a very overwhelming and blocking feeling. 

Change is rarely a single distinct event.  The change process usually begins when you move from being unaware of something being wrong to gradually becoming aware of an unhappiness and a change that you want to make happen in your life. 

If you are feeling stuck, trapped, restricted: pay attention to that feeling.  It is trying to tell you something.  Try asking yourself what is happening for you here and what can you do to relieve it?

Take time for yourself

It is tempting to always want to be somewhere else but it is really important to focus on what is going on for you and to develop a response to that in the here and now. 

I believe there is always a solution and that there is real power in clearing an hour of your day to focus and to clearly articulate to yourself what is going on for you and how are you experiencing it.

Look at your whole life.  Look at how you spend your time.  What qualities in yourself are important to you?  What are the supports and interests that sustain you?   Outside of the personal elements of your story, what are the systems that are holding you back.  Are you blaming yourself for feeling a certain way when there are other factors (such as time shortages, financial hardship or a toxic boss) that are having a negative impact on you.   

Making changes needs to wait until you have defined what is causing you stress and suffering. 

Explore how much you want to change

Think of dropping a pebble into a pool of water and the ripples it causes.  Sometimes a small change can have a very big impact.  Be honest with yourself so that you can more closely define what you are looking for.  Career success and career contentment are very different things.  

Are you suffering from a lack of meaning or are you experiencing daily stress that a change of context (such as a change of team, of leader, or an adjustment to your expectations) would improve.  If it is a problem of burnout, explore whether this is a repeating pattern in your life and whether the changes that you need to make are in how you respond to stress, rather than allowing this pattern of burnout to continue to follow you into a new role.

You need to define what this change means to you so that you recognise it when it happens.  Try to define what would help you to feel a little bit better.  Hopefully you’ll gain insight from that. 

Make a decision on what you want

At this point it can be helpful to broaden your thinking.  Do you want to change your job or do you want to change your relationship with your job? Allow yourself to daydream.  What subjects did you like most in school. What did you want to be when you were a child and what does that tell you about yourself? 

Would you feel happier in your job if it was meeting more of your needs, and can you reconcile those needs at work without making bigger changes.  For example, if you are experiencing a lack of control in work, is there an aspect of work that you can request to coordinate or manage, to meet that need for control without changing the entire context.  

What would happen if you got involved in projects or causes that reflect your interests so that energy flows back into you.  The more practical the better.

Defining what is causing your distress is not easy to do alone, which is why I believe career guidance can help you build the life you want.

Act on your world so that it better matches what you want

It’s time to take action when you decide that there is a definitive change you want to make in your life.  Once you know what you want, then break it down into steps.  What do I need to put in place to make it happen? 

When planning change, it’s important to know how far into the future you can see.  If you can only see the short term, plan only for short term change.  However, if you have decided where you want to be in 5 years, then set that goal, and break it down into stages with milestones along the way.

As you contemplate change you will come up with arguments against yourself.  You may experience ambivalence where you counter the reasons to stay unchanged in your career (the hassle, the fear the risk) with potential benefits of change.  The way to combat that is to ask yourself honestly, what are the good things about changing, and what are the not-so-good-things.  And which do I want most?  

Life is a complicated compromise between what you want and what is enough.

Setbacks are as human as you are

If you are changing and able to maintain that change consistently, well done.  Your goals are clear to you and your steps are achievable.  

If you are changing and experiencing a loss of motivation or a setback, be gentle with yourself.  Setbacks are part of being human.  Ask yourself what has worked so far and what can you learn from that? 

How can you raise the quality of your thoughts again?  How can you prevent your energy from continually flowing away from you?   What has worked in the past and what does that teach you? Don’t be hard on yourself, long term change takes a few cycles before we get it right.

Perhaps bring the plan for change back to little changes and leave the bigger changes until the timing is right. 

I am sure there is one thing you can do this week that can take you a step in the right direction.

Self-Care: Simple Tools that Can Work

I’d like to talk about self-care.  It’s important because if we look after how we physically and emotionally feel, our cognition will also function better and we will be able to think more clearly and make more reasoned decisions.    Self-care is in many ways the core of all good decision making. 

I am going to write today about a number of tools that I have found effective in diagnosing stresses and improving our relationship with ourselves.

Voice the Difficulties

The first step to change is to name the difficulties.  If you write out a typical day hour by hour, you can note where your stress triggers are.  Do they happen during the working day, during the transition from work to home life, during idle hours when dissatisfaction seeps in?

Manage the Manageables

Then draw a large container image. You can see the container as a membrane between yourself and the world. 

I draw three sides of a rectangle that’s open at the top.  Everything you write inside the jar are things you can control.  Everything that is stressing you but that is outside your control goes in the white space outside the jar.

The Container helps you to visualise the membrane between you and circumstances beyond your control

The container helps you to appreciate that there are limits to what is within your control and to visualise what life would be like if you focused your energies on managing the manageables.

The Incredible 5 Point Scale

The Incredible 5 Point Scale is actually a sensory tool developed to help children to emotionally regulate by becoming more aware of the stages and levels of their emotions.  However like many sensory tools, it works well for almost everyone.

To develop your own self-care scale, draw a table.  4 columns, 5 rows :

Example of an Incredible 5 Point Scale Table. Make your own!

And start to fill it in, relating your emotional state of mind to what you do when you are unaware and what you could do instead to move yourself down through the scale to a calmer state.

Reflect on What’s Changed

When developing new coping strategies for yourself, reflect on what you have learned about yourself that you didn’t always know.   Many of us have experienced transformative change during the pandemic and drawn on resources we didn’t know we had.  What’s changed for you?  What new information have you learned about yourself?  Did you discover new coping strategies or new joys in your life?

Make a list for yourself that you can draw on: Things that help you cope.  Be as specific as you can be. Is there a certain TV show, a certain moment in the day or a view you really enjoy? Name it!

Early Warning Signs

What are the warning signs for you when the self-care is slipping?   Are they likely to trigger you into feeling worse?  Make a note of them so that you can recognise when they’re happening. These may be the things that will move you up the 5 Point Scale instead of down

Maintain your Supports

Now that you have named what works for you , keep it in your mind by writing your list of coping strategies somewhere you will find it, like at the back of a work diary.

I like to write it in a gentle way.

I Can Try:

• Keeping a little structure on the week; Getting exercise; Only scheduling two things a day; Sitting in my garden; Drinking water with ice; Making time for play.

Start changing your life by changing your self-care and see if it helps you to identify your stress triggers and make clearer decisions.

How a Guidance Counsellor can help with Career Burnout

‘Stress is a reality – like love or electricity – unmistakeable in experience yet difficult to define.’[i]

Career Burnout is a form of stress.  It is a gradual building up of work-related stress to the point where it is having chronically negative impacts on your life.   

The Lobster Pot

Burnout is hard to recognise because what can often start as high job satisfaction becomes over time a waning optimism and eventually chronic stress.  You can’t quite figure out what’s wrong but something is wrong.  It’s the lobster pot metaphor: it heats up gradually and you can’t quite tell whether the problem is with you (the person) or with the pot (the context).

Burnout is depicted as having three strands: if you are feeling exhausted in your work, cynical about your work (and losing your sense of identity with it) and feeling reduced in your ability to do your work, you are exhibiting warning signs of burnout.

Fuzzy Thinking

The trouble is that stress can lead to fuzzy thinking which makes it hard to define and even harder to imagine that the solutions available to you will help.  You are being asked to think clearly at a very moment where you are feeling unable to do so.  It is difficult to live through something and make sense of it at the same time.

Here are the ways that I think a Guidance Counsellor can help:

1.       Making Sense of What is Happening to You

Life is made up of everyday individual actions and interactions.   Guidance counsellors are trained to help you bridge the divide between who you are and the world in which you exist.  By making sense of what is happening to you, your understanding increases.  By making meaning from your experiences,  you become able to separate what you need to respond to and what is outside of your control.

Life experiences can feel like fact but the very act of talking them through with someone else can change them.  This act can help you to reframe your understanding of yourself and think more clearly how the world in which you exist is impacting on you. 

2.       Adding in Objective Information

Sometimes an objective assessment such as a Career Assessment provides useful information to add to the context of your experiences. Tools such as an Interest Profile, a Personality Quiz or an assessment of your Career Values can help you make sense of your career issues and why your current context is no longer working for you.  You can also reconnect with forgotten career aspirations and begin to consider whether your current work is still meeting your needs.

Whether you need a big change such as a change of career, or a small change such as a change in your hours, your responsibilities or your communication with direct management, assessment helps you to gain awareness of your skills and how you can use them to change your context and ultimately help you to cope. 

3.       It’s not You, it’s Them

Many coping strategies for stress and burnout focus on developing personal resilience.  These elements, while helpful, don’t suit every person and every situation.  There needs to be a recognition that sometimes people are being asked to deliver beyond what would be considered reasonable. 

Example of an approach that focuses only on personal resilience. Source: hellodriven.com

This HBR article quotes a survey by Gallup that found the top five reasons for burnout are:

1. Unfair treatment at work

2. Unmanageable workload

3. Lack of role clarity

4. Lack of communication and support from their manager

5. Unreasonable time pressure

While a focus on personal resilience is a valuable tool, workplace practices and expectations feed into personal burnout and a person’s context needs to be addressed if they are to break the cycle.  Burnout is a system problem and most likely things at work will need to change.

Knowing Yourself Better Helps You Plan For Change

The process of guidance counselling can help you to bring yourself to an a-ha moment of what kind of change you are looking for.  Clarity – the very opposite of fuzzy thinking – is a major component in planning for change.  By taking a step back, you begin to explore options which you have not been considering because you have been feeling overwhelmed from your current work context. 

Sometimes a dilemma enhances our freedom to choose.  The process of guidance counselling can give you a new vocabulary for breaking down your old coping routines and building new ways of developing your career.

i Eugene Kennedy and Sara Charles. On Becoming a Counsellor. Gill & McMillan 1977