Jobseeking: Connect first with yourself, then others

Here’s how I became a Career Counsellor:  I went to see one for advice.  I wasn’t making inroads in my career of choice.  I was sitting opposite the Career Counsellor when I had the realisation: I really want your job.  I sought her advice then and there: how do I do what you do? 

She was interested by my interest in her.  A week later, she rang me.  She’d been contacted by a university promoting distance learning studies in Career Development.  Would I be interested in learning more?  I said yes.

 Two years later and I contacted an Employment Service for advice.  I asked the Manager if she would meet with me and she said yes.  She gave me an hour of her time, even arranged for me to work shadow one of her team for a morning.   I didn’t ask for a job, instead I asked: how do I prepare for working somewhere like this?  

 A few days later, she contacted me that she had heard of a vacancy in a sister service.  I applied and interviewed and I got it: my dream job.

We are all Self Employed

In many ways, employment is temporary.  It is your career that you are in control of.  You are the decision maker.  And the way to take control is to know that you are working for yourself now.  Let people know what you need and give them a chance to respond to it.  Expand your knowledge base by asking for advice.

 Develop your interests to form a new network with a wider reach than the one you have now.  What is the worst that can happen?

Job Seeking Skills are actually Self-Marketing Skills

Self-Marketing means you focus on your employability, not on being employed.  You want to create and sustain your own opportunities in work, learning and life. 

In these COVID times, reaching out can be gentle.  You can sign up for something and quietly attend.  You can make connections in a way that is comfortable for you.

• Keep a structure to your day:  Get up at the same time.  Make space in the day for making connections and give one hour to it every day.  

• Spark your interests: Make a cup of tea and watch a TED talk.   Listen to a podcast.  Sign up for a free webinar from the library.  Enjoy taking the time to know yourself.  Pay attention to what interests you. 

• Control your filter:  fill your social media feed with new content by following employers, magazines or professionals who write about your industry. Follow one and then from their feed pick two more to follow.  Unfollow or hide content you no longer enjoy.

• Know what you’re looking for: write down three knowledge gaps.  Tell yourself: I’m going to do one thing this week that moves me closer to filling one gap.  I’m going to persevere and practice.

• Fill your knowledge gaps: take a new course (I link to free ones below), learn new skills, sign up for a conference, attend a webinar on anything you find interesting.  Use your new sources to generate ideas.  What are other people listening to?

• Make connections: set up a Linked In page and invite people to connect with you on Linked In – say hi on a Zoom chat at a webinar and see what happens!    Look for new opportunities to learn and practice filling those gaps, one step at a time. 

 Don’t keep your jobseeking a secret

 Don’t be scared of networking. What’s now called networking is how Irish people have operated for millennia.  We love a good recommendation from someone we trust before we do anything. People often turn to a family friend or a neighbour to get a leg up.

 So if you have ever posted in a Facebook or WhatsApp group looking for a recommendation or if you have ever replied to one, then you have networked.  It is no more mysterious than that.

 Let someone in your network know you are actively seeking a job. Think about all the people you have worked with or who know you well.  Choose someone who is positioned well to introduce you to others and who is likely to be happy and interested to hear from you.

Be clear about what you want. If it is someone you know, you can let them know you are actively seeking new work and that you are looking for some advice about where there are vacancies or how you would prepare to work somewhere like their work.

Connect with those who are connected with others

Then list potential prospects: list organisations that do what you want to do, and who you could contact there.  Are you more comfortable starting with someone you know or a stranger?  Make it a planned and targeted networking campaign.  

 If it is someone you don’t know, don’t ask for a job.  Ask them for advice.   Ask them for a half hour of their time.  And try to leave that meeting with one more recommendation of someone you could talk to. 

I contacted lots of people at the time I contacted the Employment Service but I only needed one to be the right opportunity.

Make a connection.  First with yourself, then with others.

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Why Adults need Career Guidance Too

It’s funny how an idea has taken hold in society that career guidance happens in school and that once you are an adult, you are on your own.

This is so strange when you think about it. The idea that at 18, before you have ever taken a step into the labour market, you have finished receiving career guidance. You were expected to come up with an answer then, and if you didn’t you missed your chance.

If you were lucky enough to go to college, you may have received some career guidance there. Or perhaps you were aware of a college career guidance service which may have reminded you that questions like ‘what do I want?’ were important ones to ask yourself. If you saw a college guidance counsellor, the chances are that you saw them once.

Now as an adult, you’re wondering about career guidance. Is it something you should have sorted when you are young. You’re wondering if it is OK to be thinking about going for career guidance now?

But times have changed. We are getting more used to the idea of asking for help. We are getting more used to the idea that it’s OK to not feel OK.

Understanding is everything

Career guidance is the act of admitting that everything is not OK in your career. There is a feeling of unhappiness or a lack of purpose permeating your everyday experiences.

When you come to see me, it means you have a career-related problem that you can’t seem to solve on your own.

You have decided to make time and space in your life to sit down with a person who is listening to you, who is fully present for you. Someone who is ready to hear your problem and how it is impacting on you, and how that impact is happening in a negative and harmful way, and preventing you from living the life you want.

As a career counsellor, I can’t take responsibility for your problem or promise you that we can fix it. What I can promise you is that I will hold a mirror up to you and help you to find the belief that you can fix this for yourself.

My hope is that you will feel clarity; after our sessions, you will feel clear about what you want and how you are going to get there.

You can build the life you want

The key word here is ‘build’. Building requires a little bit of work and patience and self-awareness. You cannot build until you know what you want.

Our sessions follow a simple format.

We will work through key questions during our sessions.

• What is going on for you?

• What do you want?

• What is it within your control to change?

• Are the things you are doing now bringing you closer to (or further from) what you want?

• What can you do differently to get what you want?

• How are you going to do it?

• How are you going to know it when you get there?

Small Changes Can Make a Big Difference

Change happens slowly. It is not easy to change. It is not easy to look at an old problem alone and come up with new solutions. I am here for you.

You can do it. You can make time for you. One session at a time.

A Personal Account of Lifelong Guidance→

This article was featured in the NCGE publication Guidance Matters, Issue 2, Spring 2019

When I was 23, I worked as a waitress in a family style restaurant that I am sure you know well.  A man sat in my section one Sunday evening when the restaurant was quiet. In my memory, he greatly resembles Ernest Hemingway; he was a big man, white close-shaven beard and he wore a flat cap.  I irritated him when he ordered pork ribs for a starter and I advised that they didn’t come in half portions.  He ordered a bottle of red wine “and I’ll drink all of that as well.” I smiled and he smiled back and the tension was broken.  We chatted as I broke down my section.  He shared that he was very disappointed that his son was ‘only’ a waiter in a trendy city centre hotel.  I told him that I thought waiting tables was a great job: you work with a microcosm of society; you develop great coping and leadership skills; it is time well spent. I told him I had a Masters in History. He was greatly surprised.  I pointed out some of my colleagues.  Rita was a teacher in Lithuania before she came here, I told him, and Jane is doing her degree in Psychology right now. I ended up sitting at the table with him.  I don’t remember what we talked about but I remember how I felt and I hope he remembers how he felt.  I often think of him. I wonder did his feelings about ‘unskilled work’ change after we spoke.   

Luck

I am very fortunate, I have two parents who believed in me and believed in education and I had every privilege associated with that.  I am very aware that life has been made easy for me and that repeatedly throughout my life, I have been able to make decisions based on what I wanted to do rather than what I needed.  Still, my interest has always been to level the playing field for those less fortunate than me, and so I have found myself naturally moving towards the field of lifelong guidance.  

Persistence

While waitressing, I volunteered with the Dublin Simon soup run.  I discovered my sense of purpose there.  I began working in homeless shelters as a keyworker. Several years later, I moved to Canada and I tried to get employment there in a homeless shelter.  I remember the interview and how the HR Manager made me feel.  “My concern is that you just don’t know the local resources”, she said, shaking her head and smiling.  I made the point that knowing local resources is surely a matter of learning a handbook; that the people skills I had were less learnable and more important.  But she was immovable and I felt powerless against it.  It gave me a sense of how easy it is to close a door on someone who has less than you, someone you can classify under ‘other’.  I took a research job that I was grateful for.  But it gave me no energy.  I felt tired.  Again, I started to look for solutions.  I needed transferable skills to make me less vulnerable.  I needed qualifications so that HR Managers couldn’t shut me out. 

Purpose

I focused on where I got my energy. I thought about how I wanted to help people to develop their potential.  I began to study a Masters in Career Development through distance learning from ECU, an Australian university. 

Australian career theory is very exciting.  There is a focus on social learning theory and on narrative theory, and on chaos as a learning opportunity because life is, after all, not linear.  I learned a systems theory approach, where the importance of the individual is accompanied by an exploration of the system within which he/she lives.  There are Lifelong Learning Principles and Luck Principles and particularly interesting theories like HB Gelatt’s Positive Uncertainty Principles:

1.    Be aware and wary about what you know.

2.    Be focused and flexible about what you want.

3.    Be objective and optimistic about what you believe.

4.    Be practical and magical about what you do.

I loved these principles.  I loved how applicable they were.  They seemed to make space for the truth in between two extremes. 

Optimism

Halfway through my studies, I married and moved home to Ireland.  I found work in a Dublin Local Employment Service as a Guidance Worker in addiction support services.    I began to base my work on finding a realistic way forward for clients, grounded in their life experience and personal circumstances. 

In my work, I aimed above all else to give clients a positive experience of linking with the service.  I wanted them to develop a lifelong openness to new experiences.  I took the long view.  I believed in everyone and I met them where they were at. 

Flexibility

At 33, I moved abroad again with my husband’s work.  I was nervous about leaving a job that gave me such fulfilment and sense of identity.  I shared this with a colleague who said, “just think about all the things you would love to do if you weren’t working fulltime.  Now is your chance to do them.”  While abroad, we had our children.  I thought about my colleague’s lines from time to time.  At first I interpreted them shallowly.  I joined a cooking club (which I left), I thought about signing up for language classes (which I did not do).  Mostly I tried to survive those difficult, all consuming years of pregnancy and babies.  It took me four years out of the workforce before I connected with my dream.  I was standing in the kitchen one morning.  I suddenly thought, I have always wanted to write!  I hadn’t thought of this in 20 years.  It gave me a degree of understanding of how deep you need to go, how removed you need to be from external distractions, to remember your dreams. Connecting with it helped me to see how creative I am.  From that creativity came the thought that maybe I want to work for myself and follow my own interests and passions.  Being a stay at home parent has much of the autonomy of self-employment and now that I had that, I did not want to lose it.

Risk

Since coming home three years ago, I have reconnected with my professional self by studying modules of Adult Guidance and Counselling Skills at Maynooth University.  I have set up my own business – www.careercounsellor.ie- where I focus on the needs of people distanced from the labour market.  I am committed to the principles of social equity that have always driven my work.  I have become aware of how deeply skewed the world is against women.  I want to support people from immigrant and marginalised communities to feel valued and respected for who they are.

Lifelong Guidance

As a country, we tend to provide Guidance Counselling to young people before they start their careers and we offer Leadership Coaching to business people who aspire to or have reached executive level.  These are important interventions.  But most of us live in that space in between and many people are going through life with seemingly insurmountable barriers to progression.  

This is where I want to focus my work, to help people to make sense of their experiences and develop a response to them. I want to help people to develop the capacity to manage their own lives and their own lifelong learning so that ultimately they can define and create a satisfying life.  

Lifelong Learning Principles – J. Denham

These attitudes facilitate learning and help a person to adapt to changing circumstances 

·      Suspend assumptions and judgements.

·      Take risks and be willing to make mistakes.

·      Be willing to admit you don’t know everything.

·      Be curious, ask questions and try new experiences.

·      Apply what you learn and persevere.

·      Frequently remind yourself of strengths and preferences.

·      Be kind and patient with yourself while you learn.

·      Develop and maintain a support network.

 Planned Happenstance or Luck Principles - Krumboltz et al

These skills allow a person to capitalise on unexpected events

·      Curiosity.  Exploring new learning opportunities.

·      Persistence.  Exerting effort despite setbacks.

·      Flexibility.  Changing attitudes and circumstances

·      Optimism.  Viewing new opportunities as possible and attainable.

·      Risk Taking. Taking action in the face of uncertain outcomes.

View original article here